The Annual Burping Contest

Are you a proud belcher?

Robbie Yates

So just last week I went to a pre-eminent event
A day that both enthralled and energized:
The Annual Burping Contest, of celebrated fame.
And there, I was bemused and, well, surprised.

As well as the most crucial contest called “The Biggest Burp,”
Some judges also worked to classify
The dulcet sounds each belcher made: each rumble and each chirp,
Each soulful sound and roaring battle-cry.

Some burpers came from near and far to have their belches’ smells
Appraised for fragrance: floral, fruity, sweet.
According to the story that one ancient judge retells,
His favourite burp smelled just like stinky feet.

And I would be remiss to not acknowledge at this time,
The contest that I felt most vastly grand.
Requiring teamwork, harmony, and belches quite sublime:
The contest that announced the “Best Burp Band.”

So if, this time next year, you find yourself in need of awe,
You want…

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