My mature and wise look
30th May – 10th June
Who You Gonna Call?
I hope this finds everyone well and in fine fettle. I am doing pretty well myself, l can’t complain, not really, l mean of course l could but l am not going to, because l am fair like that.
So what’s happened since the last time l pawed to you all? Well in reality not a great deal, l have been taking it easy … by choice admittedly. My 2 leggeds are not guilty of anything to do with this. But l am getting older and naturally slowing down. I still have by quick bursts and spurts of energy, but l have come to the conclusion that l guess Mummy and Dad are right about something which is l am a bit of an old bird. Dad explained that term to me, and l agree with him, that to be classed as an old bird doesn’t sound so bad as an old dog which he said is probably worse than old bird.
It’s a funny thing as a phrase really if you think about it, l mean with all the birds flying around how can you tell if they are young or old? Dad tells me that l have aged considerably since the IVDD attack of 2016/17 and that l have gotten noticeably greyer which l do find rich coming from him, because he is more greyer than me. I tend to think of myself as wizened and mature, or as Dad would say like a good bottle of red wine.
However, the end result is that l am taking a leaf out of my friend Barney’s book, he said “Scrappy, as we get older, we deserve some of the finer things in life, there is no need to rush around. If you want to be picky and cantankerous, then that is who you are, be proud!” I do agree, Mummy and Dad for several months have been complaining about my cantankerous behaviour and they are often astonished at just how vocal l have become.
Mummy and l during our sneaky bonding cough cough ‘grooming’ time
You may recall from the last episode that l felt the need to justify that l was not losing the plot? Whilst l believe l firmly cast aside any of this silly mention of Demee Mentcha who by the way l still haven’t met, and perhaps l never will, because neither of the two leggeds have made mention to the presence again, so l guess they have gone.
I proved my total worth to both of them literally last week, when l made them aware of some home invaders!! They now both call me Scrappy Doodlepip The Ant Buster, and joke about it all by saying “Who you gonna call?”
Last week, whilst l was snoozing in the hallway which is between Mummy and Dad’s offices whilst they work on their own Kompootahs, l felt a slight discomfort in my ear. So naturally moved my head in case the carpet weave was facing the wrong way. But this tickling stayed and if anything it felt like l had water in my ear. So l grumbled and got up, shook my head, the tickling disappeared and l lay down again.
ONLY, to feel something tickling my bottom!!!? Well the carpet was really annoying me now l thought, it is one thing to tickle my ear, but quite another to start tickling with my nether regions and my bottom is no one else’s bottom! So l once more got up and moved to another location, and no sooner had l lain down when l felt something on my foot, on my ear around my bits and on my coat!!
Well l can tell you, l got up pretty quickly like and as most K9’s would do, started rooting around in the carpet. By this time, both Mummy and Dad had stopped tap tapping and were asking “What on earth is wrong with you Doods?? What are you looking at?”
I had to shake myself off and started growling at the carpet and began running up and down the hallway itself, making as Dad would describe it “A right ruckus!” But l was on a mission, l had spied several pesky little black dots on the carpet and they were in a strategic military line!
We were being invaded!!!!
Suddenly aware to the dangers and perils on this long thin black line or meddlesome marauders, l had to warn Mummy. I don’t bother with Dad, he literally is blind as a bat even when wearing his glasses, and doesn’t even possess the bat’s acute sensory radar, l mean good grief the man can get lost simply going around a corner, what good is he when there is massive ant strike going on?
Mummy just looked at me like l had once again lost the plot, so l had to make a big song and dance of running up and down the corridor, yowling, yipping and snuffling and biting at the carpet.
Dad in his remarkable astute wisdom, got up and as l was about to think to think, ‘”Mm, there is some savvy to him after all”, he simply opened the back door, and asked if l wanted to go out? See what l have to put up with folks? Calls himself intelligent? I beg to differ! If that wasn’t enough of an insult to my discovery, he closes the back door, walks down the corridor and goes into the kitchen, “Do you want some food pip?”
“What is wrong with you??” I barked at him, “Are you completely blind; look down on the ground Dad!!” But he didn’t. However Mummy obviously had understood everything l had yowled and suddenly exclaimed “ANTS!! Lots of them, long line, from where Scraps was lying all the way to the door, hundreds of them!!”
Finally, l breathed, some common sense.
Mummy recognised me as saving the hour and awarded me a brand new title which was “Scrappy the Ant Buster!” I feel very proud of that indeed!
However moving along from my astounding victory, l think Mummy may have lost the plot now, and not me. I say this, because last Saturday evening Mummy started acting quite erratically indeed! She, how do l paw this? There is no easy way … but she started talking to the garden animals! She was giving both Teddy Toad and Freddy Frog a stern talking to over the state of the slimy snails in the garden and was saying that unless they started pulling their fingers out of their behinds, she would oust them out of the garden? “No snails, no garden rights!!”
“Is this the look of a cross pollinator?”
Yes, l know you are thinking the same “What on earth??”
Mummy this year is the green fingered gardener whilst Dad is now the brown fingered gardener – please don’t ask! So, apparently the slimy snails are causing absolute havoc with the green garden side. They are eating everything. I get very confused because Dad is almost pedantic over his protection of the earthworms and is not bothered about the snails. Whilst Mummy is not at all happy with the snails. But now both Freddy and Teddy at being told off by Mummy about not eating their fair share of snails, and asked would l help?
I misunderstood admittedly and told them, that l really didn’t like eating snails! But they corrected me and said that they wanted me to have words with Mummy and tell her to make the garden less of a snail temptation and that there were only so many snails a handful of amphibians could effectively eat in one night, but they would have a whisper with Harry the local hedgehog to see if he could pitch in. they also told me to stop trying to play pawball with Harry as he didn’t like it and that is why he had stopped coming to the garden.
Mummy on Sunday afternoon declared war on the snails and went through the garden inch by inch picking out hundreds!! They were placed into the garden bags ready for disposal and potentially a new safe haven for them to munch through and Dad was instructed to ensure that newer methods were adopted this year to reduce the snail’s number.
Dad and l agreed that we may have to watch Mummy very closely!
Had a lovely day in the garden on Sunday, even if l was rather unfortunate enough to be caught by them both rather sneakily l hasten to add and given a thorough coat grooming! But l am rather confused by something Mummy said, and maybe you can help?
She called me a cross pollinator??? I don’t know what she means, but said and l quote, “Dad there are plants everywhere, l think a lot of it might be caused by Scrappy snuffling her way through the beds at night, she must be a cross pollinator??”
What on earth?
Well my K9 Interviews are racing their way past Dad’s Truly Inspired series, speaks volumes in my books – 39 woof woof, pity about the Feline Katz though must work on that!
The included clickitty’s were the one’s l allowed Dad to take.
Take care everyone, more soon!