4 Paws Diary – Ep 12

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The so called Odie look??”

Episode 12

4 Paws Diary

19th May – 29th May

Hey Gang,

Call me Family??!

Honestly, l am really not too sure what to make of Mummy and Dad, last time l pawed to you all, l said very distinctly, that Mummy ‘got me!’, and yet in the last week or so, l am beginning to wonder if either of them actually understand me at all?

Hey gang, well since l last made a 4 Paws Diary entry a lot of sorts has happened, sort of. I use the term ‘lots of’ quite loosely in truth. Things have occurred, but not really lots of in so far as excitement.

There has been ‘lot of’ gardening, and of course l must be out there to supervise them both, there have been lots of smaller walks, because the weather has been up and down so much; rain, wind, rain, more rain, a bit of sun, some excellent sun and then this dreaded mist! Even as l paw to you today, the day wants to be sunny, but instead it’s misty!

I can hear the ferry’s fog horns bleeping out down below as regular as my breathing, just seems to be non-stop, so l am guessing as misty as it is here, it must be far worse on the sea.

I have been sleeping more and more of late, and according to them – the 2 leggeds l have been acting very strange indeed!? They keeping making mention to something or even someone by the name ‘Demee Mentcha?’ and l must concede to being a little concerned about this Demee thing! I mean is it someone l know? If it’s not Demee, then Dad keeps on insisting l look like someone called Odie??

I don’t know who or what that is either. But l have been on full alert patrol watching out for Demee and Odie in case they try trespassing on my land! It’s bad enough that Pesky Percy is constantly trying to push my buttons by landing on the bird feeders, but now l have to look out for these two as well!

It becomes more mystifying because l think that somehow these two get into the house? I don’t know how, l am pretty awake when l am not asleep and even when l am asleep l am NOT always asleep, but simply watching my 2 leggeds!

That’s why l am sleeping more these days, because l am always awake! I only really sleep when l am ‘dog tired’, and that is at night when l know the doors are secure and l can hang my weary guard dog head down to partake in some honest slumber!

But l have been noting these things down that Mummy and Dad keep mentioning, ‘staring vacantly at the walls’, ‘forgetting if l have had my treats’, ‘going off my food’, ‘waking Mummy up at the ‘wrong’ time in the morning’, ‘decreased activity levels’, and ‘looking like this thing called Odie?’

Well l am none too sure what they are on about, but l have an answer for everything:

“I don’t just stare at walls –

“I am looking at the little magical things that dance in the dust! Sometimes Dad says he feels a presence where we live, well l can confirm that if his presence and my dust pixies are the same thing, well that’s what l am looking at!

“Forgetting if l have had my treats!” –

“Kibble to them! This is my careful ploy of the art of manipulation, l have learned that by looking a little bit dim witted, that if l go and sit respectively by them both at times and just look at them with mournful eyes, they are so worried that something is wrong, one of them usually caves in and l get an extra treat!

“Additionally, they must think l am losing the plot or something but l am astutely aware of their antics – my vet said l weighed too much – and l needed to lose a couple of Kg’s, and so Mummy and Dad have been slowly and surely reducing my intake of treats!!”

“They are trying to regulate my eating habits and it’s NOT on! So they need manipulating!!”

“Going off my food –”

“Well this is sort of true, but not really! I am trying to get them to reduce on my proper diet, and to increase on my treat diet! It’s that simple. I happen to love my food, but admittedly l prefer the treats more and this is causing a bit of conflict in the house at present. Because l can be at my own concession a right little madam when l want to be, if they say NO, well so do l!!”

“It is getting to the point that bribery is being issued by Mummy now, “No food, no walk!”

“What?? No walk, l am not hungry, no walk, no eat! Is my current ruling and l am winning! Although admittedly l am not as hungry as l once was, because l am walking less, and sleeping more – it’s age you know. I am the eldest in the house, they might like to try standing in my paws for a day and then tell me how hungry, lethargic and tired they are!”

“Waking Mummy up at the wrong time?”

“What’s wrong with a 4am wakeup call? I don’t see the problem, all l am doing is my usual patrol of the house and checking in with Mummy to say l have done it! Once l have woken her up, l go back to bed and join Dad in the sleep of the dead! Dad can sleep through anything. Mummy is a light sleeper, Dad is a dead sleeper, it’s pointless trying to wake him up, l could be standing there for hours and l would miss my dead sleep!”

“Decreased activity levels!”

“What , do you both forget l am nearly 80? What am l supposed to be doing running in the London to Glasgow K9 marathon? I sleep so l have my energy for my two walks, and just so you know, l know you have been slipping my Metacam into my treat meat! Slowly it is doing its job, and l am more energetic.

“I mean l look at Dad and currently he is a walking wreck, it will not be long before bits start to drop off him, and he is the youngest in our house! His knees are swollen up, his right arm is wasting away, he has something called Car Pool Tunnel in his right paw, always has headaches and is shuffling like something from the Walking Dead! Huh!!? Call my activities decreased?”

“Looking like Odie??”

“Well upon closer observation, l have heard Dad make mention to another something called Garfield and Dad says Odie is connected to that. So l took to looking online …

“I am not quite sure, what Dad is implying with this suggestion, but Oldie looks a bit dim witted at times, and l hate to say that about any K9, but l am not dim witted!

“I have decided that the next time Dad wakes up, l am going to ensure he walks into the mirror, so he can see what he looks like at times upon waking, or at least until his third coffee!”

Recently l have been a little bit annoyed at both of them! I sometimes don’t understand how they can call me family? I like to be very routinal on my walks, and my treats, not really that bothered about the proper diet, but the treats is an essential part of who l am especially my raw meat!

With them being busy in the garden of late, all l keep hearing “It’s it too hot Pip, wait till its cooler otherwise you will be roasty dog!” It doesn’t matter what l do to attract their attention although one solid trick is to pretend l am in a really bad mood with them, so the first part is to get in their way, underfoot and then go and lie down in the garden, lay down with my back to them and huff, and puff really loudly!

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“Nope, not happening, will look at you when l am family!!”

That can work wonders with Mummy, but atypically Dad is not so easily fooled, he just walks past me and laughs and shakes his head saying things like “Doods come on, it’s not the end of the world you know?”  LAUGHS!!

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“No food, no walk, two can play at your game!!”

Eventually, someone remembers that l am actually part of this family too and as soon as l see my lead and harness well l am up in a single leap and bound, yapping and woofing with joy.

I shouldn’t be so hard on them, they look after me, they love me, they would be lost without me and me them, they feed me, and they are very patient with my ‘oldness’ and we are despite my bafflements at times … family!

On a side note, oh my goodness, l am flooring Dad with my interviews! 36 l have in comparison to Dad’s Truly Inspired series where he only has 33 oh woof woof, get in there! Admittedly the Feline Katz is taking its time to establish itself, but still early days.

However if any of you might like to pawticipate in Dad’s series do drop him a line, it might make him feel useful ….. BUT if your K9’s and Feline Katz want to contribute instead , well that would be pawsome!

Anyway, more later. Take care!

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