The Wet Patch! 2015

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The Wet Patch! 2015

This was a tough choice as to where and how to allocate this particular post as it is concerning [in]appropriate behaviour as well as two true stories . One occured in Spalding in Lincolnshire in February 2015 whilst the other occured on the Isle of Wight in August the same year. I chose to run with Secret Journal Musings, although at the bottom of Part 2 is one of the sticker designs for Asperger’s.

Quite often, have l had the term ‘inappropriate‘, thrown in my face or ‘quirksome or eccentric or even oddball‘, l used to be bothered by it, but l am not anymore. I have developed a sort of ‘Fuck It All’ [F.I.A] attitude of survival in this world of ours.

Don’t misinterpret this as me using my Asperger’s as some kind of get out of jail free card for inexcuseable and wanton behaviour, if l am wrong l will always fess up, hands in the air and proclaim “You got me Guv, fair cop! But this doesn’t mean that l have to take shit all the time from others for not conforming. I spent years conforming to convention, and the constant barrage of conditioning thrown at me by certain people, who would hurl into the mix that l was an ‘underachiever’, which by the way is a post l shall be writing later this week anyway. Horribly overrated that term!

I conform to my ways, it is that simple, but because at times society views things differently and fear so much else, they tend to view certain behaviours as unacceptable. I have learned through hardened and bitter experiences that following the path of so called normality as in the eyes of the masses simply doesn’t work for me, whereas just being myself does.

Right, soap box rant out the way.

These two stories in Parts 1 and 2 are about ‘in-appropriate behaviours’ according to and in consideration to what is acceptable and what isn’t in the eyes of others.

March 2015 – Spalding, Lincolnshire – Wilkies – The Wet Patch

Some of you will know by now, that l have a penchant for pranking, l like a bit of a giggle, a joke, something to crack a smile on anothers’ face – that’s my bag. I am not as bad as l used to be, in fact, in consideration to my teens, l am mostly a meek lamb now, but l have those moments of madness!

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Suze and l didn’t start living together as a couple until March 2015. Next month as in June 2018, is our fifth year together. We first started talking to each other in January 2013, and our first date was on June 22 that year. [YES there will be a Secret Musing for that occasion!]

However, l wanted to ensure that following both an acrimonious and hostile divorce in 2007 and an even more hostile relationship following that divorce that ended in 2009 that my next partner if ever there was going to be one, would know me inside out and not be in the dark concerning my Asperger’s which my ex-wife and l never knew about as my diagnosis arrived in 2008 and the girlfriend after used as a weapon against me. So, to say l was battle weary was an understatement – l had become extremely cynical with everything in life.

Between the years of 2009 – 2012 l reinvented myself, rediscovered my original personality and l would say l came to grips with my new diagnosis of Asperger’s  by about 80%. The only niggling doubts l had were, would l be suitable material for a new relationship? Or was l too disorderly?

However, Suze who loves a challenge was adamant that my Asperger’s would not get in our way of a relationship, and l was very impressed with her. But Suze is a truly lovely person, yes l know she is my partner and l am going to be somewhat biased, but if you can’t be biased about those that you love, who can you be favourable towards? She has a remarkable empathy for people, which l don’t always have – perhaps you have noticed at times. It’s not that l don’t care about people, but l tend to care about people who give a damn about themselves as well.

I set Suze a challenge “Think like an Aspie, but don’t become one!”

Easier said than done l do assure you, however five years on, and l must say that if anyone knows me nearly as well as myself – then she is a bloody good runner – up …..  however, back in 2015 she didn’t know that l had this thing for testing people on their ’embarrasment level – part of my pranking system’ mawahahaha!

On the 14th of February [Yes Valentine’s Day], Suze and l went to Spalding for some shopping, and we popped into Wilkies [General Household Store] and it was quite busy. Now l don’t particularly like huge crowds, but she did ask if l was going to be ok, and l said l would be. You see, Suze acted in the early days of us and maybe still now to a certain degree as a bit like a ‘Linus Blanket’ for me, so l could cope with more. We went in for some household bits, there were people everywhere, voices, raised voices, the store music, laughter – you know the usual business of a store on a Saturday in town.

We got our bits, got to the queue for the tills and had no choice but to join one that had around 8 people in line waiting to be served.There were around 6 tills all with the same amount of people lining up! So a lot of people. It was then that my mischevious little prankster came into play. Suze was talking about something to do with patches and how she hated it when some patches got wet ….. oh some of you are ahead of me already l feel!

It simply had to be done, so in a slightly raised voice l said “What do you mean, you don’t like wet patches, you didn’t say that last night! You know love is sharing the wet patch don’t you?”

To which point, it was like the whole store stopped in time! It was quite astonishing really thinking back, that everyone stopped speaking all at once … probably didn’t, but l do know that our line stopped dead as did the lines to both our left and our right!!? It was Suze’s reaction that got me the most, l have NEVER seen that shade of beetroot red everon another person before! Very impressive . Also her eyes made think of the original film Total Recall – anyone remember the scene??

She gargled and spluttered and sputtered, whilst people looked at me shaking their heads, whilst trying not to snigger and quite a few people shaded up, Suze wasn’t alone! She then said all the others’ around us “I, l, l don’t know him, he’s on a day out from the centre, l am his carer, he says the wrong things at times, l don’t know what he means!!” Then pointing at me says “Out! Get out and wait out there!! J,ju,just go!”

It was really funny, l have to say. These days she is more used to my pranking, not 100% of course, but she has become a veteran to the embarassing situations l jokingly inflict at times!

But later she classed this as “Inappropriate behaviour – go figure!!”

Ooops my bad!

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Pictures Courtesy Pixabay

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