Mummy ‘Gets me’.
10th May – 18th May
“Call That An Adventure!!?”
All week all l have heard is “Scrappy, we promise, you will have an adventure soon, we promise!” ALL WEEK!!
Mummy and Dad have been in out, in out and gone away for small periods of time and come back with all sorts of smells and scents on them, and all l have had to contend with as they depart is “Scrappy you are Security Dog, whilst we are gone, but an adventure will be coming, don’t worry.”
So they go out, and l do my usual bit, patrolling up and down the corridors of the house, making sure no nasties can gain entry, barging through the closed doors of the house and ensuring no hidden surprises lay in way. My snout held high as l am the security dog, no one WILL get past me, not on my shift!
Then they return, laden down with bags and boxes, and once more l do my bit, of snuffling around to make sure there is nothing in there looking to gain access to my territory. It’s what we K9’s do, it’s our domain, therefore it’s our right.
This week, we have been busy in the garden, and once more l must act out in my role of fourpawson and ensure that everything is in its place. I have scrutinised astutely all the goings on from the leisurely position of lying on the grass … no, no don’t be fooled by my position there, l am like a coiled spring, if anything untoward is looking even remotely dangerous to my 2 leggeds l am there!
“Don’t be fooled, l am like a coiled spring!!”
Like the long running combative l have with Percy Pigeon – if l have told that pesky once, l have snarled at him a hundred times “Get off my land pesky!!” That pigeon is like one of those little Buddha dolls, how he even manages to take off, let alone land without rolling over the grass like some kind of doughnut is quite beyond me.
I was reading up on the laws of gravity, and l feel that pigeons simply defy all logic!
Another bafflement of logic is Dad; l am fast coming to the conclusion alongside Mummy, that he is simply clueless! He has no idea of what we older women want these days! Mummy at least can recognise what l desire the most, whilst Dad just looks at me like l am some kind of strange furry creature!!?
I go up to him and ask him questions, and he simply looks at me and then mutters “Oh right, you want X yes?” And off he tootles and opens the back door, which is NOT what l wanted and when l don’t move, he comes back and says “Right, so you didn’t want to go out then, are you hungry?”
Then he once more tootles off and prepares some food for me, and comes back lays it down in front of me and when l simply sigh and nod my head in a mild form of disgust, he then comes back and says “What do you want Scrappy?”
“Men and especially 2 legged ones, so clueless!!” So l have to go off and see Mummy, and she looks at me, and says “What’s up Doods?” Scratches me a little, and looks deep into my eyes and says “Ah you are hungry then?”
Which l am, but when Dad does it, he just does it, there is no game with him, no fuss, no crooning, he just gets up and does it, but with Mummy, well she asks me in a gentle voice, and then gives me some affection and then we both go into where the food is, and stands over me whilst l eat.
Dad, upon seeing this guffaws and says silly things like “I just did this for her, and she didn’t want to eat??”
“Mummy, so , so gets me!”
You see Dad, doesn’t allow me to manipulate him, whereas Mummy is a bit of a pushover, so even though l DON’T ever need anyone standing me over whilst l eat, l know how much Mummy loves me by simply stopping what she is doing, and standing there – l am then a very happy K9.
I have to work on Dad l feel!
Anyway, last Thursday, finally the day of my adventure came around!!
Mm, well what can l say, except l feel l am been a little duped!
All week, Mummy and Dad have tried using sneaky little ploys to brush me, and l hate being brushed! I treat the brushing with the same contempt that l treat Dad’s clickitty box, and if l see anything remotely like a brush l run away! I happen to like my smell, and happen to like my coat the way it is. But every day, Dad and Mummy try and collar me to brush out my coat!
You see my coat is quite deceptive to the unknowing – l look short haired and smooth coated, but just below the surface is a huge jungle, huge!! Mummy and Dad know this …. So do my groomers.
I was feeling very pleased with myself having evaded their attentions so expertly …….
However, last Thursday. They got me all excited, my doggy harness came out, as did my travel wrap which is what we use in the car to keep me from sliding all over the chairs as well as to prevent unwanted fur going everywhere and l thought “Woof here we go!!”
The sun was shining, the window was down and l was thrilled, all the smells and the scents, the wind on my snout, ruffling my ears. First stop was at Pets at Home – Wowee l thought, my favest of shops!
They got me out of the car, and took off my harness, which admittedly l thought was a little strange, leaving me in just my collar, but no problem we are at my bestest shop in the world!
We all walked in, they allowed me a bit of sniff, and then we went into a very strange box which smelled of other K9’s, and it moved UP!!? I saw the shop below me disappear, and then we got out, and suddenly l thought to myself “Whoa!! Hang on, why does this smell of the vets? Surely my anals don’t need doing again??”
But we went past that, and then l knew l had been duped! All my hard work was about to unravel!! The Groomers!!
Ok, ok, she was very nice. Mummy and Dad left me with her, and l knew the game was up, l had to let the groomer take action!
In truth, l happen to like the groomers, l will not give them a hard time, l sit there, get washed, made to smell nice and then they brush, and brush, and brush, and each time they brush l smile when l see their faces of astonishment!
Can you see why?? Don’t see what all the fuss is about hee hee!
Until next time everyone, have a totally pawsome time wherever you are!!
Ps: Oh yes nearly forgot – our Feline Katz Interviews are just starting to warm up now, don’t forget gang, to let yours have a say too!