Away With the Fairies?
I am not too sure why they do it, but they do. Albeit, it really is Mummy’s doing, but l know Dad goes along with it!! Every year around the same time, at the start of autumn, l get woozy and really sleepy, it all started l think a few autumns ago in truth. However, their skulduggery went on long before that as well!
The first time l ever encountered this feeling on not being myself whilst being myself, but not at all – yes l know that doesn’t make sense but that is how l feel, was when it was really raining hard one night and there were really big bangs and really bright light. I did not feel at all well, and was panting hard, and trying to tell them l was scared, so kept really close to them, and then running off to hide under tables, or behind the couch, or under the television, or, or, well anywhere that took me away from whatever was going on outside!
Mummy came over to me and cuddled me and then suddenly whilst holding my mouth open sprayed something inside that was icky but not really icky at all! She did this to me twice and l don’t know what it was but it tasted really strange. After that she continued to cuddle me, and it wasn’t long before l felt sort of happy but not really happy, but not as unhappy as l had been about the noises outside, and then l felt sort of chilled out, and was able to settle down and sleep!
I learned from Mummy the next day that she had used a rescue spray on me to help me deal with the storm.
According to Dad, a storm is an environmental reaction that sweeps across the lands and makes noise with howling winds and heavy rains and a flashy thing called lightening! So, now l knew that if l was frightened Mummy would use some of her special spray on me to calm me down. Now if she knows a storm is coming, she sprays the rescue into my mouth and l can deal with it all more easily, and it works, so l am happy, l then become really happy, and sleepy. So l call it the Stormy Spray!
However, l think Mummy likes to fool me at other times and l think she finds it funny to use stormy spray on me when there is no storm nearby, and for the last few autumns she has used stormy spray on me when l know there is no storm coming! Whilst l didn’t know what a storm was before they explained it to me, l do know when things change outside because l sort of sense it, well l can sense the heavy rains, and sometimes l can hear the bangs from when they are far away.
But over the last few autumns, when l don’t hear any rains or distant bumps, l do sometimes sense other bangs and they do make me feel kind of nervous, but no sooner have l started to pant when Mummy pounces on me and opens my mouth and in goes the Stormy Spray before l even have a chance to say “But Mummy there is no stormy?”
She just says quietly – “Fireworks darling, fireworks.” Which is very confusing if honest, because l don’t know how this fire works and what is has to do with me?? All l know is that there are a lot of sometimes very odd looking light flashes in the skies with booms, and bangs, and thumps and whumps??
Well this happened last Sunday, no Stormy yet l got Stormy Spray – Why?? It happened last autumn as well, no stormy but Stormy Spray was used! This time l also got something squidgy put onto my head between my ears! It was cold and slimy and combined with the Stormy Spray l felt suddenly reeeeally chilled, l didn’t have a care in the world and slept all night and l mean ALL night, and l missed my regular television shows!!
Before l drifted off all l heard them say was “Way too many Fireworks these days, but at least she is now calm”
The next day when l woke up, and l just felt odd. Mummy said l had been away with the fairies?? What fairies? I saw no fairies! But when l went outside for my morning wee, and exactly like last autumn there was a very strange smell lingering in the air, l did wonder if that was the smell the fairies made??
Next autumn l am going to try and trick them, just so l can see if there are any fairies and why do they smell so bad? But also l am going to ask them about this thing called ‘Fire works!’
Me and Fluffyslip in the Land of the Fireworking Fairies!
“Masters of Our Own Destiny!”
It’s been a funny old week if l am honest, a lot of things have occurred in this household so far, laying claim and weight to the title ‘that we are masters of our own destiny’ , for l must ask myself dawg to dawg if this is entirely true? Am l really in control of my own fate when in retrospect, the reality is that Mummy and Dad are in control of mine.
To be in complete control of what happens to me … sounds nice of course, but does it apply to ‘kept and maintained K9’s?’
I am housed, fed, watered, bathed, brushed, secured, walked and exercised and played with by other 2 leggeds, albeit they are my 2 leggeds but still all the same, the only thing l have to look out for is that l am fed, therefore l must determine that l eat, sleep, therefore l must ensure that l do sleep and be careful about my way when being walked and exercised by either Mummy or Dad. So am l really in charge of my own fate?
I don’t know is the answer, but then l also simply say, does it really matter to me? I guess not, however it was Mummy who made this declaration a few days ago “We are masters of our own destiny!” She suddenly blurted out one day to Dad and me. Dad just said in his atypical fashion … “Indeed we are, isn’t that right Doods?”
“Well gees Dad, l don’t know actually?” Which is why l have been thinking about it all week.
“Funny Ol’ Stick”
But then Mummy said that l was “a funny ol’ stick!” Which confused me even further? Is it not enough that in addition to my real name, l must be subjected to a host of other ones? I mean l was named originally ‘Scrappy Doo’, which was then extended to Doodlepip’, so l then became Scrappy Doodlepip, hence the name of my adventures. I have over the years become more accustomed to not only being called a mixture of names, but more interestingly, actually answering to them! But l have never been called a ‘funny ol’ stick’ before, and this really pushed my thinking cap to the limits.
Why would Mummy refer to me as a funny stick, and to add insult to injury furthermore, by calling me an old funny stick?
I know what sticks are, they are not very tasty so l tend to leave them be, but am l to listen to them more now? Do these sticks actually speak? Do they say funny things and is it only restricted to old sticks and not young sticks, and more frustratingly, how am l to tell the difference between an old stick and a new stick, and whether one is a funny stick to a non-funny stick? How does one know when a stick is being funny or not? To me, they are just sticks. It’s a bit like saying leaves and leafs are equally as funny as old sticks!
I guess this is something l will never know unless of course someone from my 2 legged or 4 legged readerships can cast any light on the stick subject?
Leave It Out Dad!
This is Dad’s Version of Autumn Leaves!
Dad’s Ideal Dog Walking in Autumn Leaves Look!!
Now Dad loves autumn, or so he says and whilst l do like it sort of, l prefer other seasons of the year personally – you see Mummy and l are sun worshippers, and the best time to practice our religion is Summer, although Spring is pretty good as well, but for the rich warmth it has to be Summer. Every season has its perks and its pitfalls and for me autumns’ pitfall are the leaves. There are just way too many of them and they are everywhere! In my garden and on my walks and l am starting to dislike them and that is Dad’s fault!!
Dad’s “You’re Standing In The Wrong Leaves!” Shot!
Because Dad, apparently likes taking pictures of me and Mummy in the leaves?? But every time, we walk in the leaves, we are not in the right place on the leaves, or he wants us to not step on the leaves, l am sick and tired of his leaves. Ok, that’s my rant over, but l am getting a little bit ‘peaved’ [see that little pun of mine] with leafy walks!! Once you have seen one leaf, you have seen all the leaves Dad!
So here’s is one for you Dad …
The Reality of Real Time Dog Walking in Autumn Leaves!!
They are wet, sloppy, non crunchy, horrible things!!!
The Grinch Has Nothing on GlitchDad
I have long suspected that the Grinch and my Dad are similar beings and at times l might be thought to be Max instead of Doodle!
Let me explain this …
On Tuesday of this week, my Dad was getting all worked up about the Kompootah which are the strange boxes on his desk – they are apparently, according to Mummy called ‘Kompootahs’, well they had to be called something l guess. After all, if you spend a good deal of time looking at them on the desk, they have to have a name right?
He turned as green as the Grinch himself, but the air around him was filled with loads of ######’++* and @##@## and every second word was a @###@ one, it was quite alarming. But he was staring at his Kompootah and using these very strange words that Mummy calls swear words!! In fact it got to one point and l didn’t know there was so many of these swear words, because Dad was simply not talking his usual language at all. Nothing at all was able to be understood!!?
Even Mummy came to try and help and both she and Dad looked at this Kompootah thingy and Dad was still using his strange language to describe what was going on. It was very confusing in truth, and shocking, because occasionally Dad said he would have to throw me out, or delete me, because nothing was working in my account?
I had to quietly ask Mummy what was Dads’ problem??
She said that my Twittah account [l know don’t even ask, l don’t know what that is either!!] was not working properly, and Dad could not post anything? Which was even more confusing, because l have seen both Mummy and Dad use the post box outside in the street, so what was Dad doing to the Kompootah that meant he had to post here??
Dad said that he was not swearing out of context, but that it was ‘Joodishal’ swearing, because something was wrong with the Twittah account and there hadn’t been anything wrong with the Twittah account the previous night.
I asked Dad, what exactly was a Twittah account and what did it have to do with me? He told me that it was where l posted my Adventures! When l said to him, that l didn’t actually post anything, and l had never heard of a Joodishal Twittah he just stared at me long and hard and one of his eyes twitched and his bottom lip quivered …. Well let me tell you, l thought no way, l am going, who does he think he is anyway … the Grinch?
Mummy came back and asked Dad if he knew anyone that could help with ‘my’ Twittah account? My, my what is it with this MY Twittah account l thought, l don’t even know what Twittah is??
He said yes, he would ask his friend Vadim, who was a smart cookie indeed, but also one of my besties!
Just don’t ask, l don’t know what a smart cookie is any more than l know what a Joodishal Twittah is??
Sometime later Dad, looked at me, like l was in the know and said “Doodlepip, your bestie Vadim has come back with the goodies, you are now not going to be thrown out or dumped, bet you are pleased about that eh. Turns out it was just a Glitch!!”
Glitch!!? To you l am just a Glitch??!!
Grr ###@###@#### Dad! Was all l could say to that!
Here we are at Friday, and l have had a hell of a week, with the over use of Stormy Spray, Peaved Leafs, Funny Sticks, Destiny, Fairies, Fireworks and Joodishal Twittah!! I think Mummy and Dad forget that l am just a dawg!! The only thing l do know for sure, is that my bestie was able to fix the silly Kompootah Twittah, and for that l am thankful.
Anyway, l think l may need to ask Mummy for some Stormy Spray, so l can chill out and relax, as it has been a very stressful week!
Till the next time everyone!
Tootle Pip From Doodlepip!