Social Currency – Defuq!
“You cannot be serious. You CANNOT BE SERIOUS!”
Do you know, what l like the most about WordPress? The community. It is distanced and yet close, in your face and yet, not! It is comfortable social interaction and engagement that works best for me, because at my own concession, l will freely admit to being somewhat socially inept and awkward – l am not perfect!
But come on, who is?
These days too many people are so used to lip service that they have forgotten what a real honest down to earth black and white conversation actually is. They hide behind the veils of grey confusion and manipulation so often that when someone speaks candidly they are no longer equipped to deal with it. Many a time common sense is thrown out of the window.
On many occasions l find l must spell out to people what my limits and boundaries are ‘socially’ and more importantly WHY they came into being.
“I don’t mix with huge volumes of people all at once.”
Can it not get any simpler than that one line above?
And yet, still we have people continually expecting more of me, or trying to get me to obligate to things l am uncomfortable with. Why do people do that? Why is it that much of society lay these huge ASKS at people’s feet?
I have a design that says ‘Being social is overrated’, l drew this up, because that is how l honestly feel about being overly social, perhaps what l should have had written up and maybe l will is have a design read “Overly social people piss me off – now fuck off!” but l thought that might come across as a little too blunt!
Temple Grandin has a lovely quote, which is apt here:
“In an ideal world the scientist should find a method to prevent the most severe forms of autism but allow the milder forms to survive. After all, the really social people did not invent the first stone spear. It was probably invented by an Aspie who chipped away at rocks while the other people socialized around the campfire. Without autism traits we might still be living in caves.”
A couple of months ago, l joined a ‘work from home business’ called Kleeneze, which would be ideal for me l figured, l would distribute catalogues through letterboxes and if people wished to buy product they could and if they didn’t – well they wouldn’t. But the social interaction would be manageable as it would only really involve engagement on a small 1 – 1 or max 1 -3 people at a time and l knew l could cope with that.
However, somewhat ironically and atypical to my luck is Mister Jinx walked on board all my hard work, and literally a few days before l was readying myself to deliver 250 brochures, the company went into the hands of the administrators!!
Which was a bit of a pisser!
Now Kleeneze is just a business, to me it was just going to be a job, and potentially a relatively good income earner – it works on the ethos of you get out what you put in, and to a robot like me, that was a no brainer, l could work the hours l wanted and reap the rewards of my labours. So to lose it was somewhat annoying, as l need to produce an income to keep the 3’s at bay ‘food in stomach, roof overhead and bills paid’, like most people.
[On the good note of things it does look like there is a new buyer in the wings or a consortium of buyers and perhaps, maybe the business is going to go live again soon.]
However, there is another side to Kleeneze, and that is this ‘networking’ aspect, or l should say the social networking side to the business’. People who work for Kleeneze reputedly enjoy the social family side. Well there are two words together that l struggle with … social and family, l am orientated towards neither. But l tend to watch events from the side-lines, and have seen this overly gratuitous ‘social display of camaraderie’ over the last 4 weeks since l learned of the administrators taking hold of the company.
From the background, l cannot knock the tenacious tenacity of the idealists, they have motivated our particular team into an almost social frenzy of woot, woot and hip hip hoorays and it has made me very uneasy. The real words from me here are “Oh ewk, yuck, eek – way too social for the likes of me!!”
I take more of the practical realistic and pragmatist approach to motivation, not the gung ho approach, but each to their own. If it gets the job done, then so be it … right? Whatever rocks your boat, is fine with me as long as you don’t expect me to be rocking it with you with bangles and balloons on!
My team leader is obviously a very social person, she says she is not, but can still attend conferences, BBQ’s and the what not, where upon there may well be upwards of a hundred people in an enclosed area, doing their thing – laughing, chatting about nothing, partying, socialising and the usual antics that go on at these affairs. So her version of being shy and retiring, is a far cry from mine!
Hell, l don’t even go into Town if l can avoid it these days!!
Don’t get me wrong, l CAN do it, if l had no choice, it would just mean l would have to mask up, but l would sweating buckets, stressed and filled with a hyperventilating anxiety and when l would get back home, l would be burned out and have to disappear for hours to unwind and that doesn’t appeal.
I don’t need to attend a social fraternity get together to motivate myself, l can self-motivate.
What annoys me the most is that l have to continually ‘spoon feed’ my limits and boundaries to my Team Leader, in order for her to try and get a grasp on what l can and cannot cope with and more importantly what’s imperative to my wellbeing. I don’t as a matter of course use my Asperger’s label as a get out clause of anything, it’s not my way. I am ‘actually autistic with my Asperger’s’ but that’s it, it is just a part of me, but it’s not all of me. However, it is a big part of me in certain areas and l have learned through trial by fire experiments of what works and doesn’t work.
When l explained this to someone recently they hit back and simply said “Stop using your autism as an excuse!!”
Which frustrated me further, as that is not the case. You don’t ask someone with claustrophobia to stand in the centre of town on a busy day for obvious reasons, nor do you expect someone with a broken leg to go hurdling, any more than you expect someone suffering from depression to be present in an environment that could cause a trigger.
In the last week l have been invited by the Kleeneze Team to attend these social BBQ’s and conferences and l have to keep explaining to them, that l could turn out to be one of their top sellers, BUT they will never meet me at one of these events because it’s not who l am.
It’s not just because l am on the spectrum either, l don’t like lots of people anymore, l find it way too stifling. I tire of having to talk too much. As l have got older, l find even more poignant is that l have very little tolerance for heavy engagement and pressing interaction.
I don’t do crowds anymore, nor do l do as l once did the daily hustle bustle of the city, l lead a very quiet and somewhat reserved lifestyle these days and l am happier with that arrangement. I don’t need to fulfil my days endlessly talking to others just to sate or quench some thirst to hear another’s voice box constantly jabber on mostly about idle nothings, as this doesn’t achieve anything constructive.
All l want is to do the job at hand, treat it like the income earner that it is, maybe it could become a career, although for me it is merely a stepping stone to another opportunity. That’s what l want to do, it’s not rocket science. So why, is there this incessant and unnecessary need and desire to meet every body socially and ‘get to know them’ when in reality, all l am going to be is one solo distributor working my area alone?
Defuq – why does everything have to be so seriously and unnecessarily overly social? Our world wasn’t built on sociality, it was built on individual minds knuckling down and getting on with shit!
How about you, what are your views on the overly social of this world?