A] Personal Details
1] Your Name? “Jess” (Bonkers Jess).
2] Your 2 Leggeds Names?
“Mummy and Daddy.”
3] What type of K9 are you? [Breed]
“Labmaraner (part Lab, part Weimaraner, part Tyrannosaurus Rex)”
4] How Old Are You?
“3 ½ years young.”
5] Do you run your household?
“Of course. I am Lab, we rule the world.”
6] Do you live inside or outside the house?
“Inside (hence why mum yells a lot).”
7] Where about in the world do you live?
B] Exercise/Play Time/Adventuring
8] How often do you take your 2 leggeds for a walk?
“I get 2 longer walks and a quick trot before beddies.”
9] Do you vary the walks or trek the same route every day?
“We have a few variations of walk, I get bored easily.”
10] Do your 2 leggeds allow you to talk to other K9’s on your walks or do they huff and puff behind you and urge you to hurry along?
“I do my own thing on walkies, if I want to talk to a dog I will! I prefer chatting to the puppies cos they are very cute and a bit fearless. Daddy urges me along if I’m sniffing every blade of grass a bit too long. Mummy has a bit more patience.”
11] Are you allowed to do ‘stuff’ on your walks freely?
“If Daddy takes me over the big park I am allowed off lead and we play ball but I always keep him in view. I do like to roll in just about anything given the chance (Hence Mummy keeps me on lead).”
“I love my walks, I pick up trees, do a bit of litter picking (crisp packets are a favourite) and generally scare the living daylights out of all the local cats. Mummy gets easily bored on walks so I have to entertain her. I am very thoughtful.”
12] Have your 2 leggeds ever embarrassed you? If so how?
“My Mum frequently makes a real deal about poo capture (this is her job). We are well known in our neighbourhood because Mummy is frequently seen in hysterics during poo capture and yelling something about little ponies. I have no privacy.”
“She is also well known for sledging down a hill on her rear because she wasn’t keeping up with me. You just can’t get the staff!”
13] Do your 2 leggeds expect you to fetch the ball/toy every time during soft/hard play?
“I love my ball. I ALWAYS fetch it. I just don’t always return it. I like to be chased for it.”
“Gives Mum some exercise!!”
* Do you have favourite toys and if so what are they?
“I love my tennis balls and my mini rugby ball (it squeaks). I also love to swing on the curtains and wait for the postie. All post is mine!”
14] Are you loved every day?
Fussed over? “Of course, I am very adorable.”
Tickled? “My tummy, every day, several times a day.”
Cuddled? “As above, Mummy cannot resist me.”
Played with? “Does rugby tackling Mummy count?”
Made to feel special? “My Mummy dotes on me. So does my aunty and she is a bit wary of dogs. I love her. She squeaks!!”
15] Do your 2 leggeds take you away on holidays with them?
“They have only been on one holiday since getting me and they went abroad. Mummy said this will not be repeated as long as I get over my fear of the CAR.”
17] Are you given treats? Too few or just right? What are your favourites?
“I am a Lab, there are never enough treats. So I try to eat our cat. If I can’t eat her gravy bones are my favourite.”
18] Are you fed a nutritional diet?
“Yes, I have a very sensitive tummy, especially if the cat gets stuck (I’m kidding!).
19] Is your food moist or dry or both or even the raw meat diet?
“I have always had moist kibble.”
20] Do you enjoy it or is it boring?
“I have to eat hypoallergenic and wheat free and it can be a bit boring so Mummy has to add other food on top.”
21] Do you eat it every day, or sometimes refuse to?
“On the whole I eat it every day.”
22] Are you allowed to sample your 2 leggeds food?
“Oh yes, they don’t have a choice, within some restrictions.”
23] Do you eat your food when you are expected to, or when you wish to?
“Errrr, I am Lab, I eat it! Mummy waits until I eat it all (again, no privacy).”
D] Your Personal K9 Stuff
24] Do you have a favourite piece of 2 legged clothing and if so, do they know?
25] Go on be a Devil – tell us what it is ….?
26] Do you deliberately play up at times, just to annoy or worry the 2 leggeds?
“I am Lab, it is my job to do this.”
27] Do you have a bed?
“I have two beds. My Aunty got me this beauty.”
28] If so, do you sleep in your bed, or their bed, or the couch or all three and more?
“I have a bed in the kitchen, the bed my Aunty got me is in the hall. I sleep on that one most. I sleep on the sofa during the day.”
29] How much alone time or ‘Just you’ time do you have?
“I may of mentioned that Mummy doesn’t give me any privacy but there are times when I just fancy a snooze on my own.”
30] Do your 2 leggeds make you dress up?
“No. Never. Mummy knows her life wouldn’t be worth living if she even tried it!!!”
* Pose for pictures?
“I don’t mind posing for a picture.”
31] Do you actually enjoy it or simply tolerate it because it appears to please them?
“It makes my Mummy happy so I oblige.”
32] Do you have a friendly vet?
“The nurses are very nice.”
33] What would be your perfect day?
“I love my weekends because Daddy takes me out (Mum can get a bit boring) but I would love to meet my fabby Twitter family, Freddie, Alma, Treacle and Olive, play with them, Daddy, Mummy and my Aunty over the big park. That would be bonkers fun.”
In spite of everything … the manipulations and the training you must subject them to – are they happy that you are there to mentor for them?
“Mummy frequently says she is the luckiest Mummy around, she is hard work, ongoing training. I wag my tail at Daddy a lot and that seems to make him happy.”
Finally, in your own words tell us something about both you and your 2 leggeds that the questions haven’t touched on or asked about – something unique …
“I do, on occasion listen to my Mummy. The other night during walkies she suggested I do my business in a well lit area. So I chose the busiest traffic lights junction, just as the lights changed and all the traffic in the world were waiting. And I dropped what Mummy calls ‘an epic elephant dump’. If I try to do it on a driveway Daddy starts jogging and gets all animated, moving me along. I love the fun of it and it makes Mummy laugh. And we need a bit of laughter in our lives.”
My special thanks to Jess and her Mummy and Daddy for pawticipating in the K9 questionnaire, both Dad and l were laughing lots and lots. Dad used to have Labs in his life [before me] and he said he could totally relate to so much of this!] Check out Jess’s Twitter for more bonkers and frolics!