Does My Bum Look Big ….

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…. in this?

“You need to find the size of performance that’s appropriate to the material, appropriate to the shot, or appropriate to the scene.”

Jason Alexander

I have always found it funny how so many people say they want you to be honest with them, but the reality is that can, at times be a lie. What they want is either a half-truth in their favour or lip service. The truth as we know it is not what they seek.

When my ex-wife asked me once if her bum looked big and ‘To be honest’, l naturally assumed she actually meant that – so l told her –“Yes it does”. I never understood why she asked me for an undiluted answer if she wasn’t prepared for the reality. Of course looking back l should have perhaps remembered the saying ‘When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me’ by Oscar Wilde.

[She wanted to wear a white skirt, and l suggested that she wear a black skirt as it would make her look slimmer, she insisted on the white skirt and of course white as a colour can make anyone look bigger than they are!]

She cried for almost a day and threw at me suggestions of inappropriate behaviour – which was absolutely astonishing a claim l thought! How can anyone possibly class another as unseemly with something like that?

Whilst her accusation of improper behaviour l believe was incorrect for that particular incident, it was not the first time as an adult that others had referred to me as unsuitable in my choice of language or communications, humour, dress code or just my very demeanour! As a youngster some of my deeds were classed as challenging whilst now in an older format l was merely disproportionate for my years!

Perhaps l should have used less enthusiastic candour in my response about her bottom, but it is easy to say that now at 54 than it was when l was 39 when l firmly believed she wanted her husband to tell her the truth!

But of course that is how people are, they are at times overly sensitive to things they shouldn’t be. They have gotten used to people lying to them, of hearing half-truths and receiving lip service, and their ability to actually grasp the concept of the truth or the ‘social truth’ is not as active as it may have been years ago – similar to the term ‘gotten’.

As a youngster l was classed by my Parents as challenging and misplaced, insensitive to other people’s emotions and feelings and always seemingly walking around with my foot in my mouth! [That is an interesting turn of words all by itself]. They would say of me back then, that it appeared that as far as l was concerned, there was no ‘Slow trickle or refinery’ it was all one big expletive! If not in my spoken word, but the way l constantly suffered ‘tantrums’ in public, or displayed an ‘arrogant’ style of erratic and unpredictable behaviour’ when in the company of others!

Appropriate and l have not always walked in hand harmoniously – at times we clash and conflict over what is deemed acceptable versus what is not becoming! At times even now, although not as much as l have got older and – wiser – l have been known to be considered to act in a profoundly extraordinary fashion with regards my actions.

Personally l prefer to class myself as a human variant of WYSIWYG [What you see is what you get!]. As l am not averse to advertising myself to the world in a brutally raw and uncompromising fashion. Some have referred to me as ‘Full on and in your face’ whilst others still simply have classed me as ‘Rude and tasteless!

That my humour or comedy is too crude or crass, that l lack empathy for my fellow man, or rather unnervingly ‘l am too honest for my own good!’ Which brings us back down to earth with a resounding plonk for all it means is as l suspected – society is simply not used to hearing the truth anymore unless it is ‘refined’.

I tend to avoid unnecessary contact with people en masse these days as it appears that just by merely looking in the wrong direction at times l am armed with the ability of causing upset and offence. Saying the right thing at the wrong time, smiling when l should be sad, looking guilty when l am not, acting the wrong way, expressing off colour humour or simply muttering the wrong things.

I prefer people to be base and direct with me as l know where l stand. If they swear out loud it doesn’t offend me nor does their choice of language – to me they are just speaking in the rawest form which is appropriate language to my ears!

Some people look at challenging behaviour as an insult to their sense of decency, social correctness and righteousness. Society has become overly hypersensitive or too easily affronted by organically rough truths. They have focused on creating, developing and producing the so called perfect sensory environment for their delicate natures that they have allowed themselves to forget that not everyone lives their lives to their “You mustn’t say that‘ aptitude.

This is not a confession from me saying that l am uncaring, or deliberately offensive to people, because l am not. I am amicable, affable and approachable – l never set out with the sole purpose of causing offense to anyone. I respect people’s views and opinions on their beliefs whatever they may be and l am for the better part a non-judgemental person. But, it is saying that at times, people cause more problems for themselves and their actions by becoming upset at the slightest thing, as well as in this example asking me for a truth.

These days l say to people, “If you want me to be honest with you, l will be, but you may not like the truth. And if it’s the false truth you do seek, don’t ask me, l tend to say it as it is.”

CAUTION – No Filters – best describes me, and l should imagine many others perhaps even you! I prefer the black and white version of everything. However at times l might be a little flamboyant in my expression of my given language, l might even be a little off colour in with some of my remarks.

There is a good chance that if the stress of the ‘Society’ has overwhelmed me l might become somewhat exasperated visually and appear erratic due to my inner sense of balance being shot!

You may even consider my manners and conduct to be somewhat overdramatic and unbefitting – you may look upon it as challenging and ‘inappropriate’ – but do you know what?

I don’t care! It’s who l am – get used to it!

CAUTION – No Filters means just that – you don’t have to watch your behaviour with me – just respect who l am as l will you – and we will get along just fine and dandy!

Guy or Bloke, Your Choice

These posts represent my views of my Asperger’s, my autism and may not be the same as others on the spectrum.

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