4 Paws Diary – Ep 6

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Episode 6

4 Paws Diary

11th March – 21st March
Hey Gang …
The Silly Little Games

If l had woofed it once, l have woofed it 100 times. But what is it with the silly little games that our 2 leggeds play? Do they NOT realize that we are in fact a superior race? How many times must we continue to mentor them over small matters?

My 2 leggeds admittedly l know to be very busy at present – you may have already guessed this by my own pawing of late. I just cannot get onto a Kompootah quick enough before the natural drowsiness of the day reaches me or, or, and yes OR one of my own 2 leggeds has nabbed it!

There are two Kompootahs in this house. The big one with lots of flat screens on is Dad’s and the smaller screen is Mummy’s, as you know l have yet to convince either of them that l need my own wide pawed one! So l must as uuuusual be last in line to pawing up my own posts! Both the Kompootahs are at opposite ends of the house, so whilst l can have a choice, the only time l am possibly able to grab one is either when they are out or they are asleep.

With Dad’s insomnia plaguing him quite severely at present, that means that he is not retiring for the night like normal 2 leggeds [STOP it, yes l know l hear Dad say it aaaaall the time – Define Normal Doodlepip!] But from other K9’s l hear that their own 2 leggeds hit the sack – which is an odd expression all by itself in truth, l mean l just thought they went to bed, but Edward a friend of mine says the term is sack – “They hit the sack Doodlepip!” he tells me with a straight snout, so l guess it must be true?

Admittedly l have never seen either Mummy or Dad hitting a sack, anyway, my goodness, l am so like Dad, l digressed!

Mummy goes to bed at a reasonable time, but Dad, well anywhere between early am to late early am – it’s anyone’s guess!? However by the time he does seek to retire for the night, l am too tired to actually keep my own eyes open let alone start to paw a post in!!
Dad is busy with all sorts of things at present, mostly tappetty tap tap with either his study [he is taking a course] and his blogging, and a new business venture, and restyling his shop and the list going on, and l think brain fog is settling into him, because he walks around like a zombie most of the morning, until he has had his first coffee, and muttering to himself of what’s on his to do list – with Mummy not far off the same. At least Mummy gets up at a reasonable time!

I push Mummy’s door open at around 6am and say “MUMMY – wake up!!” to which point she simply says ‘Oh hi Pip, l am actually awake, morning.” Well that is the normal response, except even she too over the last few days has not been up until around 6.30am!

I just sit there and deep sigh, huff and puff and moan until a hand snakes out from under her covers and starts stroking me. It’s a strategy l have you see … slam door, wake up time means GET UP!! But if she doesn’t respond to my timetable, then l have to repeat the process till she does. As for Dad, well phff! The house could be on fire, burglars could be stealing the goodies or a tidal wave could break over us all, and Dad would still be there, snoring! He doesn’t get up till around 7, but sometimes not till 7.15am! But my little wake up game doesn’t work with him, so l just pester Mummy more!

It’s just not on!

But back to managing Kompootah time, l have been tired and then l get tired of trying to grab the Kompootah so when l can, l do. Which is why this diary entry is slightly later than a desired weekly entry.

Oh woofy woof wuff, l am DAD! I could have pawed all of that in fewer words and l have got his infernal voibosity or whatever it is Mummy says he has!

But back onto the silly little games.

I fail to understand the logic of being referred to as a guard dog if l am not always allowed to guard and investigate? Yesterday, the ‘shopping’ arrived at the house. All l wanted to do was greet the delivery man, but more importantly l needed to smell the goods being delivered! It’s my absolute K9 right to perform this valuable security task and yet, and YET, what happened to me?

That’s right, you guessed it, l was gently wheeled away and shut into Dad’s office??
What?? This isn’t right l hollered! Ok, well maybe not hollered, but l did woof my indignity at this outrage!

This is a fine example of ‘silly little games!’ What do they think l am going to do? Bite someone, run off, and steal the goodies? No, apparently it is because l, and get ready for this ..

Get
In
The
Way!!?

It’s my divine right to be there!! Oh l don’t know, l honestly don’t know.

Another example of silly little games is treat time; they have said l must work for my treats! I know the indignity of it all. I seem to spend all of my free time working for my treats! I have to wiggle and waggle the dong in order to get my lovely peanut butter out of it – WORK. I have to roll my Odin around the floors to get my treats out – More WORK! And now l have to get my Curly Wurly out of the metal box in order to sustain my enthusiasm – Even MORE WORK!

Why, can they not simply just give me my treats directly? Is it NOT enough that l am the official guard K9 of the residence? Does this not carry any weight at all?

Apparently not!

Another silly game of theirs is to try and trick me, fool and foil me, see the clickitty below and tell me what you think?

img_0273

“Find the Daddy silly little game!”

Last week, Mummy called me in and said ‘Where’s Dad?” Before me was this, 2 legs on a high stool .. well call me stupid, but l am pretty sure that funny looking thing was Dad? With Mummy in the same area, how could she NOT know where he was? But then it dawned on me, oh yes, yet ANOTHER silly little game of Find the Daddy! So l went through all the usual, “”Ooh, aah, mm’s “” that one must do to pretend that l too am utterly confused. After what seemed like an eternity, “Boo!!” yells Dad, and to please them, l act all startled! “Oh my Dad, l never would have guessed!?

img_0275

“Before grooming started!”

What however was confusing is what followed next. Mummy starting making funny noises behind Dad on the chair, a little strange growling and at the point when l thought that maybe, just maybe this might be some kind of procreation ritual, decided perhaps it was time for me to go, when suddenly …. Little soft plopping noises could be heard, and l looked at Dad in horror! Bits of his head were falling on the floor!!!?

Second glance revealed that Mummy was only grooming Dad, like l have to tolerate! So l figured, ok, l will lie down in front of everything to be told yet again ..”Doods why lie there you are in the way!”

img_0276

“Apparently in the way??”

Honest to golly jeepers creepers – there is no winning at times here, you know?

I read an interesting article in bed the other day about how K9’s are being used to sniff out illnesses in 2 leggeds, and l have to say has society gone completely and utterly mad? Did they not know, we have the most highly attuned noses anyway, and that this is something that should have been researched much earlier than now? But hey better late than never ever eh gang?

Anyway – l will take my leave, having had what amounts to a moan, and leave you with some other clickitty’s of Mummies, of me TRYING to enjoy some quite treat time …
…. Yeah l know, quiet treat time, like what the woof is that??

img_0265

What the woof is that??

img_0263

img_0272

“Oh goodness, a K9’s life is never easy eh?”

Pawtism

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